Don't Ever Stop Moving

I looked at him in the eye and in a second, he was gone. His body laying on the ground
motionless, his life energy slowly oozing out of him. I stood hovering over him feeling guilty, my
body completely frozen. This is the very first time I ever had to take someone's life and it hit me hard. Broken and heart stricken, shoulders slumping, I made my way back to the squad leader. The squad leader gives me a firm hand shake saying, "You were a boy who has now become a man." Everyone cheering over the battle we had won, I was the only one not rejoicing. How can you do so, when you have taken someone's life? How is a 17 year old boy suppose to react to a situation such as this, with a smile?

Those first missions in Iraq were weary on my mind, on my body and to my soul. How could
I have chosen this kind of life? This life, that takes and takes but never gives back! I had made two extraordinary friends, who have had similar views. We would fight together; we would laugh together; we would face great adversity together--we seemed invincible. Then reality set in with our second deployment to Iraq; they were gone. Both shot, one died on the scene, the other in the hospital and I was left alone... Pain, frustration and hate filled my heart over the loss of those two. Fearing to feel such pain again I talk to no one, listen to no one, I become attached to no one.

This army life, this warrior's life--whatever you want to call it--is not meant for me. I want to
be able to raise a family without having them worry for me. I want to be able to see my child walk his first steps. I want to be able to hold the love of my life without fear that I may never return again. I don't only want a different life, I need a different life. My future lies in my family and the studies that will help make the change of life I need.

A Rough Draft About my Life

I was born in San Sebastian, Puerto Rico and raised in slums of New Jersey. About the age of 4 was the first time I ever heard a gun shot before. Was always so scared to go out at night because at any moment that sound can be for you. (So, the bell tolls.) We had it really bad when I was young. I never used to be able to see my father because he would be out working 3 jobs just to bring food to the table. Then when things got really rough, with my sister and I getting beat down by our parents. They would use shoes, belts, brooms, mops, extention wires, you name it they've used it. (Eh, I guess it was all for a good cause...)

Fast forwarding a bit over here. By the time I was in high school, I decided to join the army. At the age of 17 was my first deployment to Iraq. Let me tell you, it was not easy just coming out of high school. Then later on I became an uncle. My sister gives birth to a beautiful little girl at the age of 16. Her name was Jamila and ALWAYS smiled at me when she saw me. *sighs I miss her, my sister gave the baby to the 30 year old father and never heard from that guy again. Moved away and never bothered telling anyone about it not even my sis. It was a sad time, I was looking forward to spoiling my little niece.

Then, as luck would have it I get deployed to Iraq a second time. Right now I have about a week left so it isn't so bad. I just can't wait to get back home with my friends and family. ALSO, something special happened this year. My senior English teacher who I have kept in contact for 4 years is now my girl friend. Who I plan to marry in about 3 years or so. Even though I had to go through all that violence in Iraq again I believe this is the best year in my life so far. I'm no longer alone, I have someone now.

That someone has become my wife for 3 yours and going. I love her more than I thought I ever could. Now with a 3 year old son, I am happy to say this would be the 2nd person to really love in all the world. God has blessed me with a wonderful family and I hope for even greater times in the future.
There, a little bit about my life.